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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?